Training is No Piece of Cake!

I try to stay positive about my training. In all honesty, that might be harder than the actual training and weight loss work most days. It's so easy to become defeated over one mistake in meal choice or a bad run. Well, last Thursday was a double wammy. I gained half a pound after seriously exerting myself during work-outs. Then, I hit the pavement for week 5, day 2 of training. It had been a while since I trained outdoors, since I'd been on travel for work, and let me tell ya, my body felt the difference. For the first time, I couldn't follow the training program to the second and was fighting the hills against pretty strong winds. It was a down day. Rather than quickly bouncing back, I threw myself a pity party. After talking about the bad day with a couple of friends and my husband, I remembered that we all have bad days. If training was so easy, it wouldn't have been the challenge and goal I set for myself. I had enough desserts before starting this venture to know that getting fit wasn't going to be a piece of cake. But this was truly my first big stumbling block, other than illness, and I only had 2.5 weeks before the 5k! So, I needed to center myself and find some motivation. It helped to have a busy, active weekend planned with my family. The days that followed were joyful and got my mind off my let-down of a Thursday. Come Monday and my next outdoor training day, the weather was too bad to run. Again, I was bummed, but decided I would keep to my schedule. I'd just have to run on my treadmill after I got Lillian off to bed. That evening, I saw a FaceBook status update from my friend Randi, stating that she had just completed her first-ever 5K on the treadmill at her gym. In my excitement for her, a lightbulb went off in my head. Why not skip the Couch 2 5K program for the night and see how far I could run? Bam! I had my motivation. Thanks again, Randi (and congrats)!!! At my slowest, I did a fast paced walk/slow jog at 3.8 and at my fastest, a full on run (for me) at 5.5. My average was more of a 4.2 pace, but I surprised myself. I did it! 3.1 miles in 43:30, burning 440 calories. I was so stinkin' proud of myself. Now, I have the belief again that I am a runner, that I can meet the challenge I set for myself, and when the weather is nice again, I will be out on road running to success!!! I'll see you on the bright side!

Fueling My Fire

First, vacation. Then, a busy return to work. Mix that with a husband, two daughters and a very needy dog to feed, nurture, and clean up after, and you can see why something had to give. I continued to train, but have delayed my blog posts. Now that I am on a business trip to Orlando, I am attempting to catch my breath and catch you up on my running prowess status (HA!). It's too hot and humid in Orlando for me to run outside, so I have taken to the treadmill. I completed week 4 last night and will soon head to the gym to begin week 5. I can't believe how far I've come already! My routines are now up to a little over two miles, which is a triumph for me! I'm still tempering my excitement with reality, as I can't kid myself. May 28, when I am scheduled to do my first 5K (3.1 miles), is just around the corner. Therefore, I must soldier on in pursuit of my first big running goal. Only one more mile to add to my workouts in the next three weeks. It's funny how that would've seemed impossible to me a couple of months ago, but now, I welcome the challenge, literally running towards it with open arms and much stronger legs! While I've learned a lot about myself over the past month and a half of training, it's become bigger than a mind/body exercise of stamina. When I opened myself up to a virtual world of friendship and judgement, I was fully aware of how we're not always positive about what we read and see on FaceBook and blogs and such. People don't usually air their dirty laundry, either. I feel very strongly that most people's lives aren't as happy, beautiful, or picture perfect as what they share in their status updates and photo albums. In real life we don't get to choose at which angle people see us or at what moment. Knowing this, I still chose to share my struggles, admit to my flaws, and broadcast my need to change. I expected pessimism from some and for plenty more people to not be happy for me...even laugh at the position I had allowed myself to settle into. It turns out, though, that I've received more virtual high fives and "woohoo" and "you go girl" comments than could ever have been imagined. You fuel my fire and remind me that people are good, that we can be each other's cheerleaders, and all too many of us feel alone when waging personal wars that are all too similar. We're just fighting to be the best we can - whether as wives, daughters, friends, moms, students, employees, etc. It's a lot easier to swallow the pill when you know so many others are sharing in your pain...even if figuratively. Admitting flaws has become less scary than liberating, and seeing myself grow is more gratifying than a piece of key lime pie (my fave)! For those who have taken a moment to comment on a blog, post on my wall, send me a private message, email, or text, or given me a call with with positive wishes, I thank you for being my cheerleader. For those who've said that I've inspired you, my heart swells even more. This was a selfish goal to be fit and healthy, but to see it become a movement of moving women makes me jump for joy - really, it does! I appreciate every bit of positivity that comes my way and use it to keep my feet swiftly going forward. Your goals are my goals, and I'm so proud you're my friends. See you at mile three...gotta run!

Confronting the Beast

This past week, my hubby and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. In doing so, I got a little sentimental about our love story and began looking back at old pictures. Since we started dating in 1993, I had a lot to reflect on. I love our first homecoming picture and can distinctly remember the dress I wore, how it made me feel, and the weight I was at the time. The sad part is that even though I felt pretty when I left the house, when I got to the dance and looked around me, I was awash with sadness, thinking I looked huge compared to the other girls. I wish I could go back and tell that 14/15 year old me how awesome I looked - really awesome.

Unfortunately, it's always easier to look back in retrospect than to see yourself and your life for what it is in the now. I never wanted to be the "fat one" - not then, not now. Yet, somehow, I've been filling that role for the majority of my adult life. The truth is, I let the evil demon voices in my head become my compass - chubby is cherubic, it's too hard to work out, yummy, fatty food = fun. While I didn't feel good about myself, I settled into a place of acceptance being the chunky girl, as if it was my station in life.



And while I never thought of myself as skinny, it also took a long time for me to admit to being fat. This is an entirely different beast to confront. No one wants to say that out loud. It hurts to speak the words. Instead, I would make jokes about how I was simply "above average". That didn't sound nearly as bad, maybe even good. Plus, I knew if I admitted to having a problem with my weight, I would be expected to do something about it. There were always too many excuses and too many personal roadblocks for me to make that commitment to change. That would mean work, and it was so much more comfortable on the couch watching Law and Order: SVU marathons rather than trying to run one...

One day, though, things just clicked. I complained to my doctor about not being able to drop pounds by diet alone. He challenged me to work out everyday for three weeks. He said I'd find the time, and while it would be hard, I would see a shift in my mental attitude toward my body and wouldn't allow myself to quit. I took him up on the challenge (partially to prove he was wrong. How does a full-time mom and wife find time to work out every stinking day?). And magically, the demons in my head began to quiet to the resounding sound of self worth, saying, "I don't have to settle. I'm better than this." I guess good ol' Dr. B. will see he was right when I go for my next check up, because it's pretty obvious I found the time to work out...

Honestly, I earned the title of the "fat one". I was that person on the outside, and I let that define who I was on the inside - a pile of mushy yellow ick. Not anymore! Today, I am working toward being a lean, mean, running machine. I'm not settling for the couch. I have a 5K to run!



Special thanks to Lori Wortylko for inspiring me with her weight loss, blog, positive attitude, and friendship. And to Michelle Wright for always being honest about how I look, what I can achieve, and reminding me that I am worth the work and the payoff. I'm a lucky girl!!!

Grandpa's Words

Today was a cold, damp day for training, but the drizzle wasn't enough to deter me from my mission to train for that 5K. I only have 5 and a half weeks left, but have 7 weeks of training on the docket. Eek! So, I powered through the chill and wet to begin week 3 of training.

I'm still doing intervals of walking and running, but the stretches of run time are getting longer. Today, I really felt pushed to my physical limit again. My body definitely got another jolt. There's no doubt in my mind I will be aching tomorrow! I started with my typical 5 minute warm up. That was followed by a 90 second jog and 90 seconds of walking...then 3 minutes of jogging and 3 minutes of walking. I then repeated the 90 second run/walk interval, ran 3 more minutes...then did the final 5 minute walking cool down. Phew! I'm so glad the robot lady in my phone (C25K app) keeps me straight. She is the best $1.60 trainer on the market...at least I think she was well worth the cost. :)

As I began my final 3 minute run, I was headed up a steady incline, and I was tired. My Grandpa Torr's words of wisdom kept ringing in my ears, "Never quit going uphill, because when you're going downhill, you won't want to." Boy, is that ever the truth. I chanted to myself - out loud, mind you - as I jogged up the Millenium Trail on Wootton Parkway, "Don't quit uphill...don't quit uphill...don't quit uphill!" And wouldn't you know it, I got to the top of the hill with a minute left of the jogging segment, which began my descent. And I kept going! I didn't quit, and I am so much better for the push. It was as if my grandpa's hands were on my back, helping to nudge me through the exhaustion. I'm so grateful he shared that tidbit and is such a believer in me.

I did 1.81 miles in 25 minutes today, which is an average of a 13.81 minute mile. I'm thrilled to have improved my mile time by about half a minute in just one day. I can tell my endurance is improving, and that has me so excited for what is ahead. I think I can actually do this!

Leaping Over Hurdles

No, I'm not taking on the track event of hurdles (though I think it's super fun), but I have had to overcome a few obstacles in my training as of late. The good news is, I did swerve, jump, dodge, and take on the issues without letting them trip me up...too much!

The whole sick thing became a real problem. After completing Week 2, Day 1 of training, I got super sick! My respiratory infection also became a sinus and ear infection. It knocked me out completely for a few days. That also defeated my spirit. I looked at my training schedule and all the opportunities to run that I missed being ill, which left me feeling overwhelmed. How in the world could I pick myself back up and get in the game, knowing I was so far behind?

Well, I did it the only way possible, I got well. Then, I strapped on my Nikes and hit the trails. Now, I have officially completed week 2 of training!

I've gotten a lot of joy just from being outside. I've watched the trees get their leaves, flowers bloom, deer eating their lunch at a clearing in the woods, and wonderful birds flying all about - orioles, cardinals, woodpeckers, and robins. In that time I'm run/walking, I may have to remind myself to keep going, but I don't ever stop taking it all in. What a pleasure it is to run with the wild!

Now, I have begun tracking my distance to determine how well I am doing at achieving my 5K (3.1 mile) run goal. I made it 2.04 miles today in 29 minutes. Woohoo! I'm so close I can taste it.

See you at the finish line...