Intentional

"It's time to get up!" my father said as he rapped on my door.

"I don't feel good," I replied, groggily.

"Are you sick, or do you need to take a shower, clean your room, and start your day?" he questioned me.

I knew better than to question his thinking and pulled the covers from my body, knowing I would not be allowed to stay in my warm bed a second longer.

While I am not sure my dad asked that question of me more than once, I never forgot that Sunday morning call to action (and to church). It stuck with me, because I did feel different once my body and my environment were cleaned up. It wasn't illness keeping me in my bed. It was whatever "I don't wanna" excuse or problem I was facing in my poor teenager heart.

I still play this mind trick on myself when I can't stand the thought of going to work, knowing I have a meeting I don't want to attend, or a deliverable I'm not excited to tackle. Of course, there are times I take the shower and still crawl back to bed, truly ill or in need of some mental health comfort. More times than not, though, I just need a kick in the pants and a clearing of the cobwebs blocking my vision of a wonderfully purposeful and productive day of living.

Often when confronted with something overwhelming, I begin by organizing the space around me. It makes me feel as though my mind will then have the space to work through the problem or find the words to set out on the page. I know for sure I also do everything best when I feel physically ready for the task. For me, that means showered, made up, hair styled, jewelry on. I know the clothes don't actually change anything - nor does a straightened and tidy desk - but these actions allow for the mindset of a well intentioned person. I am in a space ready for success.

As I set out on a journey of self love and encouragement, I had to start somewhere - clear the mess and get my head in the game. I decided on the approach of a "To Do List". With each new day comes opportunities to choose joy, so I needed to set myself up on a path to my success. What brings me joy? When and what makes me happy? To find these answers and bring joy to the forefront of my life, I must work at it. So, how was I going to craft this list? It couldn't be too long or daunting as to appear impossible to work through on a daily basis. It also couldn't be too short or simple. (Remember, Grace, you have to push yourself to grow.) And each item must push me towards my intention of finding and living in joy.

I found it to be a skinny rope to walk when developing a self improvement plan, but when I get to the other side, I know the feeling I'll have in my heart and gut and how the victory will show on my face. Each day I will train for the balancing act of setting priorities important to me, working towards my goals, and giving myself grace when I may fall off the wire. After all, I can't make it to the center ring, on the highest tightrope, in the most beautiful leotard, evoking awe and amazement from all around me without first figuring out how to get across a balance beam just one foot off the ground. We all begin somewhere.

Grace's Everyday To Do List

1. Praise

Each morning, even before I get up to pee (come on, we all do that first), I will give praise to God. I will reach into my heart for what has me feeling thankful and set my heart to find the good in the day. By first setting my mind on what is right and good, I will choose to begin each day from a place of love. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of life. Thank you for giving me another day to make you proud and to find new strength. Thank you for my husband and children - my cocoon of safety and peace and purpose. Thank you for...the list is endless and varied and often more personal. But everyday will start with a note of appreciation to God for giving me another chance to live my best life.


2. Eat

I can certainly find it in me to feed my body what it needs to be healthy from the inside out, at least one meal a day. To not feel set up for failure, I am starting small and building nutrition into my life as a routine and creating a habit of good choices. I start with a healthy meal, and you know what happens, I choose a second healthy meal and a smart snack. Less sugar finds its way to my lips and more water works its way into my system. I am creating a domino effect of healthy choices. It all starts with one meal. If I go off track after that, it's okay, because tomorrow I will start with one healthy meal again. More and more, I choose to feed my body what it needs, and I am both proud and happy.

3. Move

No matter the activity - a weightlifting program, a jog, a core workout, dancing until my feet fall off, stretching, hiking, walking - I will move my body with intention to pump the blood through my veins, raise my heart rate, and breathe hard. Humans were made to move. By building momentum, muscles, and lung capacity, I will feel better able to handle the hard stuff my body throws at me. When I must rest, I can do so knowing I WILL be capable of moving again. I must treasure the good days. This will serve as proof that I have a body able to carry me through the pain. This knowledge will make me glow with not only sweat, but strength and courage and an "I got this" attitude.


4. Plan


While we may make plans and God laughs, I also rejoice. Someone recently asked me what vacation was my favorite. My answer, whichever one I am planning next. I love envisioning the joy on my children's faces, thinking about what I will wear on a date with my husband, the kind of food I will eat. The planning process, for me, is one of the best (if not the best) parts of life. I dive head first into a pool of ideas, possibilities, and details to sort. Whether I am planning a trip, party, or the schedule for fall activities for my family, I am happy. By giving myself time each day to create a little sense of control in a chaotic world, I find peace. By allowing myself a few minutes each day to anticipate what lay ahead, I am better able to channel my nervousness and worry into excitement and joy. That is my sweet spot.


5. Write


I will get it out of my head and onto paper - whether typing or writing by hand. This is therapy, creativity, and art for me. Sometimes I will write a blog for public consumption, but there will be days I will write a love letter to my husband, a note of encouragement to my daughter, or journal about my faith. I got out of the practice of writing, and spent far too much time thinking, rather than reflecting. When I put my thoughts and feelings out into the world, I am better able to process whatever it is I am going through. It makes the internal struggle external - something tangible and less scary. The exercise of writing strengthens the muscles that aren't visible, but are what push me to keep going when my body gives up. By being vulnerable and honest, I am becoming more open to help, love, acceptance and connection. I crave all of these things - from myself and others. Writing satisfies that craving.


6. Listen


I cannot grow in a vacuum of my own thoughts and ideas. Each day, I will find positive messages to pump into my head, read books and essays, talk to those with different belief systems or faiths. By expanding my horizons and opening my mind to different approaches to similar human problems, I will build up my arsenal to fight my demons. This will create a more well rounded approach to life while also improving my ability to connect with others, understand different points of view, and create a richer, more purposeful life.


These six things are possible each day, right? I know I won't always hit every mark or devote large amounts of time to each one, but by feeding my heart, mind, body and soul with positivity, I am slowly but surely finding my way back. By being intentional with my thoughts and actions, I am choosing joy over the other stuff. Joy becomes my purpose, and I become joyful. At least, that's the plan...